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ch3What is love? Having a simple definition for love may be a cumbersome adventure and a fruitless exercise for me. This is because love may be psychological, neurological, historical or cultural, and it will always be part of our lives because it probably exists because of our cognitive nature. However, I think love is an abstract concept or perception, and also its evidence is almost always based on a necessary condition when we decide to be sincere to ourselves. I am talking about the one true love. 

Firstly, love is an abstract concept or perception because unlike marriage that you can evidently prove by Law, religious or customary practices, I have personally not come across any empirical or socio-scientific proves of love. Love is just like believing in the supernatural. Love exists because we believe it does. ‘I love him because I know I do’. ‘He loves me because I know he does’. This makes love strange and mysterious. I wish to link this proposition to the ‘dual process theory’ in psychology. This theory states that we have two very basic forms of thought: System 1 and System 2. System 2 is the voice in our head that enables us to plan and think logically. But System 1 which is what I am talking about is intuitive, instinctual and automatic.

These capabilities in System 1 regularly develop in humans, regardless of where they are born. They are survival mechanisms. System 1 allows us to speak our native language without thinking about it and also gives babies the ability to recognize parents. In addition to these and many more, it helps us find a mate or partner and possibly love. Since this knowledge of love may be due to our spiritual nature, natural instincts, infatuation, obsession, chemical or hormonal reactions within us, I cannot give a definite meaning of love.

Secondly, love does not walk alone but almost always comes along with a necessary condition attached. Some men in abroad are introduced to pictures of ladies in Ghana, others meet ladies on the internet or through the social media and they ‘fall in love’. Some even ‘fall in love’ due to the voice they hear on phone which may be a wrong call. How can you ‘fall in love’ with a person when you’ve only seen the photograph of the person? How can you ‘fall in love’ with a person when you’ve only seen the virtual personality of the person on the internet? How can you ‘fall in love’ with a person when you’ve only heard the voice of the person or even seen the person on Television? These issues are real because the love is based on what they have seen, heard or imagined about the other person.

This is because, sincerely, at the back of our minds, ‘I Love You’ because of this and that. You love your partner because of a reason you know. And most times, the love we think we know and understand begins to fail when such compelling conditions or reasons begin to fail or cease to exist in the relationship or marriage. But what you see as compelling or necessary condition which may be a prove of love for you may not be the same with me.

You may see caring from a guy or from your husband as love, but I may think otherwise. You may see frequent calls and constant whatsapping from a guy or from your husband as love, but I may think otherwise. You may see a guy or your husband spending lavishly on you as love, but I may think otherwise. So since the necessary conditions differ with persons, I cannot give a definite meaning of love.

I guess you can give the meaning of love. Think about it. Medaase (meaning Thank You).

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