After decades of silence, Whitney Houston’s good friend and romantic partner Robyn Crawford is speaking out.

Crawford, now a family fitness trainer, met Houston in 1980 when they were both counselors at a summer camp in East Orange, New Jersey. “We wanted to be together, and that meant just us,” Crawford writes in her new book, A Song for You: My Life with Whitney Houston.

The physical aspect of their relationship was short-lived, as the singer told Crawford “it would make our journey even more difficult” after she was signed by Clive Davis in 1982.

“She said if people find out about us, they would use this against us, and back in the ’80s that’s how it felt,” Crawford said. “I kept it safe. I found comfort in my silence.”

Houston’s mother, Cissy, may have factored into the singer’s decision. “Whitney told me her mother said it wasn’t natural for two women to be that close,” Crawford said, “but we were that close.”

Despite the public’s endless speculation regarding Houston’s sexuality through the years, Crawford says she and Houston, “never talked about labels, like lesbian or gay. We just lived our lives and I hoped it could go on that way forever.”

“Whitney knows I loved her and I know she loved me,” Crawford said of her late friend, who passed away in 2012. “I wanted to lift her legacy, give her respect and share the story of who she was before the fame, and in that, to embrace our friendship.”