Adjetey Anang and wife share 12 Lessons in their 12 years of Marriage

Award-winning actor, Adjetey Anang and his wife, Elorm Anang celebrated twelve years of marriage bliss on March 11th, 2019.

As part of the anniversary celebration, the couple have decided to share 12 lessons they have learnt over the last 12 years.

The lessons which are been shared on Instagram include:

LESSON 12: We learnt 2 make a conscious effort to enjoy each other’s company…
Over time it’s so easy 2 get used 2 each other n even find others more interesting…n de scale begins 2 tilt when u spend less time with her/him..so we plan weekends away or home, listening 2 music or watching movies n we make it a point 2 focus on de positive, admiring each others achievements no matter how small n on de goodness in each other..n how those have been some of de best moments in our lives. 

Lesson 11: Learnt that Trust is Earned & not Automatic…
There have been several times in this journey where I have hurt her repeatedly n even after remorse and the sorries I have learnt that trust is very fragile when betrayed. Consistently working on bad habits, negative trends & weakness can re-build trust again.

LESSON 10: We learnt that saying beautiful things to each other doesn’t have to be restricted to courtship…
And in fact, it’s more beautiful, more real and more meaningful when you know each other so well and you have seen many flaws that have threatened the foundation of the relationship… so that when you say “I love you” it means “I love you IN SPITE of…” instead of “I love you BECAUSE of…”

 
LESSON 9: WE LEARNT TO KEEP THE COMMON INTERESTS WE HAD FROM THE BEGINNING ALIVE.
From ballads to instrumental music….
Its important to note your spouse’s interests, but even more we have learnt to do those things together..so we make time to shop together, watch tennis together, listen to same kind of music…so when I go with her to that ladies shop, it’s not to keep an eye on the accumulating costs of the items she picks, but to offer my genuine opinion..”errm I think the turquoise will look better than that”…”maybe u should choose between these 2 dresses or?”

LESSON 8: WE LEARNT TO MAKE OUR HOME A SAFE AND PEACEFUL HAVEN..
After the stress and chaos of each day, the atmosphere at home should embrace u. Sometimes she returns home stressed & sometimes crying. All I do is listen…despite my own load of the day, I give her a listening ear & ensure that she goes to bed knowing that if she has nothing at all, if all fails, she still has me! 

LESSON 7:WE LEARNT THAT BEING A TEAM ALWAYS WINS!
As men, we generally believe we can handle stuff by ourselves..but u soon realize that her input can sustain the peace cos when trouble brews, it troubles both, not just one. So hard as it was, I learnt not to handle stuff alone cos she sees things I don’t see and things I take for granted. She looks out for my interests and safety (of course and her own too! But that’s ok with me!)….so we share our doubts, fears & daily happenings and it feels great that we’re a team!

LESSON6: WE LEARNT THAT FUN SURPRISES SPARK UP THE MARRIAGE:
Knowing that receiving and giving gifts is one of her love languages, has helped greatly. She loves gifts! Of course I have learnt not to use that as a tool to gloss over any wrongdoing because really when something is wrong between us, giving gifts instead of dealing with the issues might send the wrong signals…but once everything is discussed and resolved, gifts definitely add something special and makes her feel being thought of in a special way.

LESSON 5 WE LEARNT TO SHARE DOMESTIC RESPONSIBILITIES:
She likes to cook but she doesn’t like to do dishes; so when i come home to cooked food and a sink full of dishes, i get busy and sort it out; after all I live there too! I bath, feed and do my son’s homework with him and put him to bed before she gets home from work sometimes. It’s our home and our son, so we share what’s got to be done. Sometimes when I’m tired or she’s tired, we just take it easy and the dishes stay in the sink till morning. Domestic life is not an examination. We try to simplify life and we have our peace.

LESSON 4: WE LEARNT THAT ONCE WE START BUILDING TRUST CONSISTENTLY, IT’S SAFE TO DO BUSINESS TOGETHER..
…just as marriages are built on trust, successful businesses are also built on trust…Besides if we are committed to spending the rest of our lives with each other then building trust for a great relationship can be applied to build a successful business too! We have many common interests so we’re just starting off as business partners…& the future looks promising!

LESSON 3: WE LEARNT TO LOVE EACH OTHER’S PASSIONS…
Over the years my passion for tennis has gradually made her a fan too.. but she built the interest…& she knows betting against one of my favourites like a Serena Williams can lead to an injury-free “mini war”. Similarly she loves shopping, interior decor, furniture..and I have learnt to enjoy the excitement she enjoys in them. Today we can vary conversations across all the above. It certainly didnt happen overnight.. It took a conscious effort over the period.

LESSON 2: WE LEARNT (THE HARD WAY) THAT CHALLENGES NEED NOT LEAVE PAINFUL MEMORIES: 
We have had many challenges over the years & many bad experiences…from dealing with the pressures of the industry I work in to the tough demands of the industry she works in. But the most difficult thing we’ve dealt with was being unable to have a baby when we wanted to… we waited & waited till the 7th year! Societies expectations weighed us down & being known made it even harder for me..Over the years, we hav fought, said regrettable things to each other & done things we wish we could take back…Some times we’ve felt like giving up… the most important question during such times was, do we still want this? If yes then let’s stick together & work at it! Sometimes reluctantly we agreed…how do u work on a common goal with someone who has hurt your feelings? We struggled to agree but somehow we made it through each hurdle, stronger & with more respect for each other… I believe in our case if our baby had come earlier, he would have been the focus & our individual weaknesses/flaws would not have been dealt with & would have grown deeper & probably exploded in a matter of time. So we stuck together, deconstructed & begun to build…day by day. When she was pregnant, we had one of the biggest fights we’ve ever had, one which could have spilt us up 4ever…. but somehow God took us thru & taught us lessons we’ll never forget… So when we hav challenges now, we remember that nothing is impossible, once we can work at it together …

LESSON 1: WE LEARNT THAT IT’S IMPORTANT TO SHARE A COMMON VALUE SYSTEM..
We are both Christians and we have grown to realize and appreciate that our relationship with God and our shared respect and reverance for God is the single most important thing that has kept us above the challenges we’ve faced.. Even though the pressures and demands of life sometimes disrupts our consistency, we still value and do not forget the importance of maintaining a family culture.