People & Lifestyle
Guest Blog: The marriage of Terror and Nonsense : بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
During the occasion of America’s State of the Union address on the same day that our Mahama said the 2 special refugees posed ‘low risk’ to our security, this is what Barack Obama told his people. “Let me tell you something. The United States of America is the most powerful nation on Earth. Period. It’s […]
“Let me tell you something. The United States of America is the most powerful nation on Earth. Period. It’s not even close. It’s not even close. We spend more on our military than the next eight nations combined. Our troops are the finest fighting force in the history of the world. No nation attacks us directly, or our allies, because they know that’s the path to ruin. Surveys show our standing around the world is higher than when I was elected to this office, and when it comes to every important international issue, people of the world do not look to Beijing or Moscow to lead — they call us.”
In Ghana, I’m not sure what my darling President Mahama’s appraisal of the value for monies spent on our security forces is. But if the most powerful nation on earth could not cater for 2 Yemenis who pose only low threat to their own lives and freedom, what should we expect of Police Capo Kudalor? Maybe we would invest in a national security prayer session at the Black Star Square? But I thought the Americans had “In God We Trust” as their motto? And even they still didn’t see the need to bother God’s favor in the case of theses two people? But Ghana with its “Freedom and Justice” is more ‘Christian’ than all nations? That our famed ‘akwaaba’ hospitality means that we host anything at all and at all cost? Do we need this fear and panic and its accompanying brouhaha as opposed to spending time on the 59% increment of taxes on electricity tariffs?
When Barack Obama came to Ghana on a 11 July 2009, he seized the moment to address Ghanaians on the floor of our Parliament House.
“And I’ve come here to Ghana for a simple reason: The 21st century will be shaped by what happens not just in Rome or Moscow or Washington, but by what happens in Accra, as well. (Applause)
This is the simple truth of a time when the boundaries between people are overwhelmed by our connections. Your prosperity can expand America’s prosperity. Your health and security can contribute to the world’s health and security. And the strength of your democracy can help advance human rights for people everywhere.
So I do not see the countries and peoples of Africa as a world apart; I see Africa as a fundamental part of our interconnected world — (applause) — as partners with America on behalf of the future we want for all of our children. That partnership must be grounded in mutual responsibility and mutual respect. And that is what I want to speak with you about today.
We must start from the simple premise that Africa’s future is up to Africans.” (No applause)
Amongst the sensible people in there who were supposed to have listened with rapt attention, only Former President Atta Mills is dead. Then Vice President John Mahama, now President Mahama never died. He is still alive and has, as evidenced in his ‘Executive’ decision duly but crassly, in my opinion, justified Ghana’s ‘mutual responsibility and mutual respect’ with our American co equals. He says that we the citizenry stand a greater chance of being killed in a road accident than being harmed by the transfer of Mahmud Umar Muhammad Bin Atef and Khalid Muhammad Salih Al-Dhuby to holiday here on compassionate grounds!
Well last Sunday I had a dream. Dreams are free, and well within my rights. And it went something close to this;
Obama: yo Mahama what’s up with you? How is your son Hama? I like his single. It’s on the BBC website. Is he considering music for a career? Did you pay for that?
Mahama: hihihihi. We are fine thank you Sir, how is your wife and daughter, the older one and your dogs and. . . (Obama cuts in quickly)
Obama: dude, I’d be very brief. I have two disposables tucked away in Guantanamo Bay who are just a total waste of space but are clean. I can vouch for that. You know where Guantanamo is located right? In Cuba right? Excellent. My CIA spooks assure me they went through their past and charges leveled against them with a fine comb and are clean. Listen,I really need to disinfect Guantanamo before my term ends. John, you guys are a Christian God believing people right?
Mahama: (Stuttering) yea yes please.
Obama: bingo! I’d get the state department to get in touch. The United States of America appreciates your contribution to the war on terror. Good luck Buddy.
(Phone line drops)
Mahama: (starts whistling and rolls up a joint. . . ) Julious! (Calling The Chief of Staff)
Julious Debrah: (panting) Sir please did you call me?
Mahama: sia . No I didn’t. Sit your bottom down and listen attentively, call Mari Gyata now now now . . . (JD, sensing trouble, seizes the brief moment that JMD uses to pull a long drag on the now lit joint to claw back)
Julious: Opana, I have already told you that this your foreign Minister doesn’t respect me. Sometimes when she looks my direction It feels like she wants to punch me for having Interrupted her orgasm or something. I don’t like getting in her space. Can’t you errrm okay, I’d txt her.
Mahama: are you done? Now shut up and listen. Write to her with instructions that she must cooperate with the Americans and grant them whatever they seek to enable a smooth transition of two inmates from the Guantanamo Bay detention center.
Julious: ei Joooo. Now ebe der you reach? Don’t you think it would be prudent to summon a national security council meeting to discuss. . . . (Julious who had until then been staring at his note pad halts as he senses that his monologue might be touching on his Boss’s nerve)
Mahama: (cracking his knuckles and shaking his head at the same time) Julious, do you have any idea why I appointed you in the first place?
Julious: (all too familiar with the turnover of events manages a very feeble nod but quickly regains his composure with)
Yes please Your Excellency.
Mahama: how did you know the reason?
Julious: I know because you told me.
Mahama: (now grinning) great. How many times have I also reminded you of your lack of wisdom and commonsense in almost everything in international security and relations?
Julious: I have lost count Sir. I’m sorry Mr President. Very sorry for overstepping my boundaries .
Mahama: never mind my friend. It could have been worse. . . . “
Then I woke up. Then I nearly said a prayer. But thought it would amount to me mocking God. Nobody mocks Allah and goes scot free. Then I thought of making libation to my ancestors. Then I wondered if this marriage of terror and nonsense was godly.
That we were on our own looked more like what our plight is.
Anuanom ne Adofunom, the true state of our folly is this; we were sitting our somewhere, then Americans picked up some people and kept them against their will and their fundamental human rights for a long time and without Ghana’s consent. Whether these guys were criminals of varying degrees or not has nothing to do with independent and poor nation Ghana. If they have been abused, which isn’t any of Ghana’s individual or collective business, their birth nation(s) or their families are to intercede and take them back home. In this case, their home nations of origin have deemed it NOT WISE TO RECEIVE THEM BACK INTO THEIR FOLD. Our dear nation Ghana has. Ghana cannot be responsible for some individuals of certain nations. It doesn’t work that way. What happened to conventional wisdom of life so much that our leaders are expecting us to tolerate this obvious nonsense.
What can’t the US Embassy in Accra employ these good people like they do other people to work in their Ambassador’s kitchen?
Of all the human beings walking the face of the earth, the Ghanaian is, through its current leadership, the most incorrigible and an apology of literacy. Few Ghanaians read material that positively inform our sorry lives. Fewer understand what they read. And our intelligentsia have turned puppets to some very distinguished persons who have managed to assume political power during the period that we slept thinking that the battle was the Lord’s. And today, Oyiwa !
Two days ago, the spokesperson of His Eminence Sheikh Dr. Osman Nuhu Sharubutu, the national imam of Ghana, Sheikh Arimiyaw Shaibu says the two Guatanamo Bay detainees in the country are welcome to worship in his mosque.
“As far as am in Ghana, I don’t have any fear. Ghanaian Muslims are peace loving people. As an imam and a sermon giver, I will open up to them if they want to come to my mosque and pray”, he further stressed that
“I will alert my congregation of their coming and make them aware that they have been cleared of any charge of terrorism, they are humans, they are harmless, we are trying to infuse them back into the society on bases of our love, compassion and sympathy, we acknowledge their right to live as human beings and so they are coming to pray with us as God wants us to do”.
he made these remarks in response to a question posed by a journalist. As if on cue, and to underline government’s commitment to broader consultations with relevant parties in such a delicate matter, the foreign minster and the Egyptian ambassador to Ghana have NOW paid courtesy to the National Chief Imam. Clearly the battle lines are being drawn between the Christian Council’s stance and that of Islam’s.
Being Ghanaians, this whole nonsensical situation which is avoidable would be stirred by some greedy bastards to score political points. And for what? Why do we do this to ourselves? If the Americans and the birth nations of these men don’t want them and can’t afford to host them, what business does Ghana have in playing ‘God’?
As for Barack Obama, he has chosen to forget this verse from his inaugural speech on Tuesday Jan 20 2009.
“As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.”
I would conveniently forget if I were in his position of power and had Ghana serving as a willing scrap heap of the type of human waste that no body wants to recycle.
I really wish I could scream ‘God is great’ in Arabic and be left alone. Smh.
#stilwerise
Kwame Agyemang Berko
(Poet. Essayist. Humorist.)
@uhurubardman on Twitter