People & Lifestyle
How To Identify Red Flags During the Dating Stage
When you know how to recognize manipulation and set personal boundaries, you build healthier relationships with people, both friendly and romanticly. Alarm bells will help you make the right impression about someone on the first date too. In this article, you will gain insights into the red flags you should be mindful of when meeting someone new and learn valuable lessons from these observations.
Why should you notice red flags?
In moments of falling in love, it is common to only see the positive sides of the relationship. The way our brain works is to blame for this: it tends to fill in the gaps and create the perfect picture of our lives. Falling in love with a self-created image is a common occurrence, and the excitement of it all can be easily misconstrued into something positive, even if there are warning signs. Science shows that our brain reacts to excitement and negativity similarly – so we need to watch out!
#Dating recently conducted a report that delves into the nuances of red flags during the first date, highlighting patterns and behaviors that millions of individuals collectively identify as warning signs. The study goes beyond generic advice, providing practical insights that help you navigate the complex dating landscape.
Studies like this show how important it is to recognize not only uncomfortable but also potentially harmful situations, therefore we have highlighted our own potential red flags below.
- They constantly complain
“The weather today is awful…They looked at me funny on the street…The coffee here is especially bad”. Sounds familiar? If someone complains about every little thing already on the first date, then this is already something to think about going forward. Some of this may seem trivial, but you should keep this red flag front of mind if a person maintains a negative attitude throughout your first conversations. This is the time they’re supposed to be the most excited and if they don’t match your energy, think about whether you want to continue seeing them.
- Rude to staff
How a person treats service personnel reveals much about their character. If they communicate rudely with waiters or baristas or make a fuss over waiting, it’s likely you are dealing with someone who may not respect other people. How a person treats others is important, and if they are not afraid to be rude to someone they don’t know, they could continue this rudeness throughout other areas of their life.
- Body shaming
It is unacceptable for anyone to comment on your first date about how you look, or what you eat and how much of it. Often, such comments can be covered up by concern but in fact, this is manipulation. It is important to learn to recognize genuine concerns and be able to defend your boundaries when needed.
- Stereotypical way of thinking
It is difficult to build a healthy relationship when someone sees the world through one lens. If they are full of generalizations about different genders, maybe they believe that women should always wear fancy clothes, or that men should be earning more money than women – this could lead to controlling behavior and you should stay clear.
We all know that it’s quite difficult to fit real people into boxes and that people should be free to live their lives how they please. Most likely, someone who sincerely believes in these stereotypes is most likely unhappy, and you will definitely be unhappy with them!
- Miscommunication turning into manipulation
Were they late for a date and didn’t let you know? Or maybe, they insisted on going to the park in winter, even though you wanted to go to the cinema? If this sounds familiar, maybe they aren’t listening or respecting your time. Of course, they may simply be absent-minded or caught in a traffic jam. But if, instead of an apology or a calm explanation of the situation, you receive excuses in response, then this becomes a red flag. And if, in the process, they try to shift the blame onto you, then this behavior becomes even worse.
- Doesn’t put you first
If you find yourself always chasing for their attention, this could be a red flag. Maybe they are always hanging out with other people or ignore your texts and calls for a long period. This can lead to insecurities about how your date really feels about you. If their mind seems to be elsewhere, perhaps it is time to assess your future with this person.
- Idolizes you
This red flag is perhaps the most insidious and least obvious. We all like to feel special! “You’re not like the others” sounds like a compliment to start with, but unfortunately, this can also be a sign of future emotional abuse. For example, after a disagreement or a scenario your partner may end up stating that they thought you were perfect and aren’t supposed to put a foot wrong. It is important to distinguish this type of affection from real compliments.
How to use red flags correctly
Even though we all have our own personal preferences – maybe you really dislike someone in Crocs for example! Red flag advice should instead focus on alarm bells that everyone should look out for, whatever you like your partner to wear on their feet.
Remember, this is not a universal formula for choosing that ideal partner but it is important to learn how to recognize red flags. Advice can act as guidelines, and by increasing your understanding of red flags, you will be able to better recognize your needs and emotions and figure out what types of communication are comfortable for you, what is not, and what to do about it.