Research Reveals the 5 Relationship Secrets for Long-Term Happiness

What do the happiest couples in the world have in common? What’s the X factor that makes them different from everybody else? Is it amazing luck? Is it incredible compatibility? Is it a God-given or do they have to work to make it happen?

Whether you’re in the beginning of a new relationship and you’re wondering about its potential or you’ve been with one partner for some time already (and you have your struggles), chances are that you’ll want to know the secret.

Luckily, psychologists and sociologists have asked the same question and they’ve used scientific research to draw a valid conclusion.

Here’s what they found out about the people enjoying relationship bliss and harmony, even after decades together.

Appreciation for Each Other

Researchers in this study looked at 11,196 couples in long-term, committed relationships. They found certain things in common among people who were the happiest, with five elements being the most important.

Appreciation for each other ranks high on the list.

Most people commit the grave sin of taking their partner for granted after some time together. They stop making effort and they believe that the relationship will last forever without any effort. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case.

Appreciation for a loved one is something that needs to be practiced actively on a regular basis. The people who demonstrate how much they care are the ones who are likely to get the same response from their partners.

Showing a bit of appreciation is far from difficult. A kind word, a kiss on the cheek or a little present in the evening can all demonstrate just how happy you are to have someone special in your life.

Perceived Partner Commitment

Perceived partner commitment is the second relationship secret for long-term happiness.

This term refers to how we view our partner’s commitment to the relationship. It’s not a measure of how committed they actually are. It’s a reflection of our own viewpoint.

People who believe that their partners are committed to staying together for life tend to be happy, satisfied and calm in their relationship. On the other hand, people who wonder and who experience a ton of uncertainty are likely to lose the good things that a partnership brings.

Perceived commitment can be a reflection of many things – past experiences, personal insecurities, communication dynamics with that special someone. The perception can be improved though open and honest discussions about feelings, beliefs and uncertainties.

Sexual Satisfaction

You knew this one was coming, didn’t you?

Sexual compatibility and satisfaction are must-haves for long-term happiness. If a good relationship isn’t backed up by good sex, it will fizzle out in time (for most people).

Sex is the glue that holds two people attached to each other. It builds intimacy, it’s a wonderful form of making up after a conflict and it helps partners show how much they’re drawn to each other.

Some couples do experience a sexual slowdown with the passage of time. This, however, is another issue that can be addressed effectively.

According to sexologists at Hotcherry, black and realistic dildos takes the heat up a notch and they typically come in large sizes for an incredibly intense experience.

And sex toys aren’t the only way to boost satisfaction. Trying out something new, sharing fantasies and enjoying spontaneity without thinking too much can all be wonderful ways to make sex fresh and exciting once again.

Perceived Partner Satisfaction

All of us want to be sexually satisfied. The research, however, suggests that having one’s sexual needs met isn’t enough for relationship bliss.

Perceived partner satisfaction is an equally important criterion for happiness.

In other words, if you’re having fun but you worry that your partner is not, the relationship will probably suffer.

Sex is a give and take. While some people can afford to be selfish in casual encounters, they can’t afford to approach relationship sex the same way. If a partner isn’t satisfied, chances are that other problems will arise sooner or later.

Perceived partner satisfaction is not always accurate. This is why your worries have to be addressed. Research suggests that the only way to determine if your partner is truly sexually satisfied is to communicate. Apart from giving you valuable information, such discussions will also increase the likelihood of making sex better in the future.

Effective Conflict Resolution

It’s not true that truly happy couples will never fight. If they aren’t getting in arguments, chances are that they’re avoiding conflict at all costs. Such an approach can backfire in the future in the form of bottled-up anger, dissatisfaction and even aggression.

People who are happy together know how to resolve conflict when it arises.

Effective conflict resolution will once again involve communication and there’s an added element – compromise. Those who are happy together know when to fight for something that’s important and when to let go for everyone’s benefit.

There are also certain things that happy couples don’t really fight about. These are usually small issues (chores, personal quirks) that aren’t really worth sweating over. People in happy relationships know that they can’t really change someone and their inner nature. Rather, these people seek ways to come to a compromise that will be acceptable for everyone.

Final Verdict: What’s the Recipe

You have probably reached some conclusion about the recipe for relationship happiness you need to follow.

Perfect couples don’t exist. Even the most compatible of people will be annoyed with each other every once in a while. These people, however, know how to communicate such annoyances and how to handle the situation without hurting their loved one.

Happy couples enjoy good sex and they’re not selfish in the bed. They care about what a partner thinks and feels. They respect each other enough to seek mutually-beneficial solutions when something isn’t working too well.

Building an amazing relationship takes some time. It’s not always smooth sailing, especially after the honeymoon period is over. There will be bumps and serious obstacles along the road. As long as two people work together, however, and they’re not judgmental or critical of each other, they can make it work.